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Posts Tagged ‘valentine’s’

By February 14th, you are more than halfway out of the dark.

And very much, Valentine’s Day  feels like an opportunity for the next bright start after the new years celebrations. It is a chance to practise the day you would wish to have everyday, to put your best side forward, to love as you would wish to be loved.

Valentine’s afternoon Tea – Mary Kate & Shawn’s Wedding in The Quiet Man

Valentine’s Day is but one day in the year, and while it is an opportunity to be romantic for a day, I think it can act as a portal for how to be everyday

Last Valentines, I wrote about David Whyte’s book, The Three Marriages, and his thesis that highlights a triangle of relationships. The first is the conventional one with your significant other, the second with your work, which I think most of us would recognise even if we would not wish to acknowledge, & finally, & perhaps most importantly, the third marriage is with yourself. Now while there are elements of each of the “Three marriages” that will have greater or lesser resonance with us, I concede that it is the first one that can really provide a base camp to allow the others to manifest. To have the absolute trust & care of another is simultaneously slightly scary & a quite wonderful thing.

Idea’s for a Valentine’s Tea to Fall in Love With

The true gift of a Valentine’s Tea is that thought & time have been spent to create it.

Choose favourite things to eat. Create a special menu, and include a reference to a favourite poem. It will add a quite thoughtful & lovely touch. Dust off the china, lay a crisp white tablecloth, light a scented candle, or even a few sparkling tea lights, the intent being to create a rather special atmosphere to savour the aesthetic & treasure the moment in time. For more afternoon Tea idea’s inspiration, do have a look at Five splendid idea’s for afternoon tea, which includes a wonderful Rose themed afternoon Tea menu, just the ticket for Valentines, with gorgeous sandwiches & sumptuous cakes.

Spectacular Valentine’s Tea – Cake from Thoughtfully Simple

As a Valentine Tea is such a special occasion, do remember to make a gorgeous cup of Leaf Tea

No if’s or buts or excuses, as advise on Top Tips on Brewing the perfect Cup of Tea is at hand. You will be amazed at how gorgeous a properly made cup of tea tastes.

I confess that Tea With Mary Kate’s one weakness is for China Tea Cups

I adore Wedgwoods Queen of Hearts china tea cups. In fact, I love the pattern so much that somehow the tea pot, milk jug, sugar bowl & cake stand managed to find their way into possession, but do chose you own favourites. If you are feeling rather generous, the china could also be a gift, but, ahem, do wash it before it goes out of the house.

Valentines afternoon tea in beautiful Queen of Hearts Wedgwood china tea cups

Perfect for Valentine’s afternoon Tea – Beautiful Queen of Hearts Wedgwood china tea cups

A few final thoughts from Shakespeare's sonnet 116
 
 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixéd mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom: If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved 

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I’m guessing with the day’s ticking down to February 14th, the male of the species may be starting to get quite twitchy – Valentine’s is so fraught with emotion, assumption & expectation….& frankly cost.

So I’d like to suggest an alternative, with Valentine’s Day itself offering us a signpost for our future interactions.  It could be so much more than signalling  our feelings opposite a relationship with our “significant others” on just one day. & so much more than just being “romantic” on 14th February. It’s an opportunity to take a moment to assess what we would wish for the future, for ourselves,  for our significant relationships & for everyday.

Mary Kate with one of her significant marriages

I am a great admirer of the poet David Whyte whose recent book “The Three Marriages” explores and challenges on the standard assumptions and definition of marriage and what happens when we fall in love. David Whyte is passionate, deep, with some uncomfortable messages which he also acknowledges for himself.

I’ve been lucky enough to see him speak on a couple of occasions. It’s life affirming & humbling that his self awareness allows him to take great dollops of his own medicine. If you read nothing but the introduction to the book, then it would give enough stimulus for at least a modicum of growth – I laughed and empathised at getting himself  into a pressurised situation & fretted for him.  Do go for reading the whole book for his views on three marriages – that which we conventionally think of with a significant other, the second being that with work, where he has some fascinating alternative thinking on “work life balance”, and his “third” marriage, that of the relationship we have with ourselves.

So, how about a major reframe of Valentine’s day, where you no longer fret if you receive any mysterious cards or roses – have a Valentine’s for you – you’re the person that you’ll have the longest relationship with. Have a Valentines with your significant other if you have one – & I’d advocate in a humbling, authentic way – I’m wondering why folks would cram themselves into a restaurant on one particular night when the service is always at a stretch. The most precious times I’ve experienced have been simple acts of love – a cup of tea in bed when I was far from expecting it – precious, precious moments to treasure always.

Have a Valentine’s week – a whole week where you take care of your interactions with those who matter to you & who you consider important to you.

And do you know, how about have a Valentine’s life, with devoting time to having a greater awareness of all three marriages, to take care of relationships in the moment.

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